he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
