Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
