i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
