just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
