Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
