This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
