Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
