you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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