Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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