to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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