He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
