it hurts more in the daytime
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
