Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
