wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
