I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
