When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
