theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
