Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
