On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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