Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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