loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
