There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
