I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
