i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
