when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
