How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
