We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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