nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
