WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
