well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
