is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm at about main and main street
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
