PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
