Screwed.edu
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
