i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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