She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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