Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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