I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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