I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need to align my fucking chakras
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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