She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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