I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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