If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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