you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How does one acquire holy water?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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