no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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