Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
