whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
