i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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