my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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