there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
