why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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