we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
