you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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