Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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