I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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