weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
