Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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