hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
