now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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