I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
