i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
